Background on the Respondents: Emma is one of my closest friends who is a junior at the Beacon high school, and star of her basketball team (in my opinion). Angel was a close friend of mine in middle school who has reached out to me a lot recently and Izzy is a student at Brooklyn College who I've worked with on various social justice projects.
I began by asking each of my of my interviewees: "What are some images that come to mind when you think about how our bodies are dealt with after death?"
Emma looked down and responded moments later: "I either think of ashes or a persons body disintegrated. I think of the way people put make-up on the dead person to make them look alive even though their not, which to me is creepy."
In my opinion, Angel and Izzy responded similarly- i found both responses made me feel somewhat raw: "Dimmed rooms, slicing machines, maggots on our bodies, preservation" Angel listed. Izzy responded by saying, "Jars of brains, morgues, preservatives, that scene in v for vendetta where all the dead bodies are on top of one another being burried to hide the evidence. Everything either very medicalized or very primitive. Thats all."
I got the sense from their responses that maybe they haven't experienced death from a close relative because they hadn't seemed too connected with their answers. And although they might not have had close experiences with death, I could tell that both were more realistic.
I then asked them, "How would you like your body cared for after you die?"
Emma and Izzy both said they wanted to be cremated. Emma didn't take long to respond, "The idea of being in a coffin makes me feel claustrophobic. Its like being in a cage for eternity." She looked up at me and then looked out, toward the window. "I feel like my spirit wouldn't be able to travel different places." She then added that she can't imagine being buried alive and shook her head at the thought of it. Her father said that being cremated alive doesn't sound like a better option.
Izzy responded by saying, "I would like to be cremated because I don't like the idea of the cascet and tombstone taking up room in the earth."
Angel said that he would like to be buried. When I asked him why, he responded by saying: "I'd like to be buried in the earth because its comforting for me. I'd feel like I'm a part of nature, and for me it shows a respect for nature." I then asked him if he were religious and he responded by saying yes. "I'm christian. It's really affected the way I've seen it because I've lived for a purpose and I'd really like to show my respect by being buried. Its an appreciation for what my faith has given me." Angel and I ended our conversation there.
Their responses about how they wanted their bodies to be dealt with after death varied. I couldn't detect a clear pattern, at least not from the three people I spoke to. What I did notice was how confident each of them were in their answers- they knew exactly what they wanted, without questioning it.
My final question was as follows, "How do you feel about your family's perspective on care of the dead?"
Emma responded more unclear than her usual responses, "We've usually buried people because its Jewish tradition to be buried together. My mom told me that I can't be buried with my family because I have a tattoo, which is fine 'cause I don't wanna be buried." She looked over her shoulder at the tattoo of a giraffe and smiled, then continued. "We have closed-casket funerals because I don't think people in my family would be able to deal with open caskets very much." She laughed at that. "I don't really know of anybody in my family being cremated, but I can't be sure. I know that my mom wants to be cremated being she and I share this issue of being claustrophobic. And I haven't spoken with my father but I imagine he'd like to be buried with his family, maybe next to his brother. I feel like my dads more conservative in that way."
Izzy responded just as sure as she was before, "I come from a traditional Irish Catholic family where most people in my family have been buried. They did open cascets and so on. My mother is not so conservative in her views on cremation so I don't think she would oppose of me being cremated. I'm not sure how influenced i've been by my family's views but maybe in a reverse psychology sort of way."
It seemed that both Emma and Izzy thought about their family's religious backgrounds when answering this question. This was interesting because neither of them were very religious. I've heard from others that people often get religious as they approach death. I guess its like having an insurance policy. They probably think its good to be on God's side when facing the unknown.
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