to:
"hey eloise,
i really enjoyed your post. i liked the language that you used to describe peoples reactions to your questions, and i liked the way you peeped-in their quotes. i liked the larger ideas that came across throughout your writing, which, mainly, were that death means different things to different people and they chose how they'd like to think about it. we live in a society where we have options and where the controversy on picking a form of care for a dead body doesn't seem too controversial.
although i really enjoyed your post, i still find that your posts are very choppy. i think that to make your posts have more of a flow, you should read it through aloud and seperate the larger chunks into paragraphs.
thanks girlly,
nai"
from:
"Wow! you poured your heart out ad what seems to stay bottled up, I can feel all the emotion, I am sure this took courage on your part. This was a very emotional and insisghtful post into Naima and though I feel much sorrow it made me very happy to hear these thoughts of yours.
You spoke of how your mother's passing and how it effected your family and your father and how difficult it was to deal with the care of her body & memory. You also spoke of little Ped's recent passing and how much you give respect to his life , but in contrast how easy going the decision making for his memorial went.
I think your fathers actions to accept your grandmothers decisions show a strong man who really thinks of everyones sake, and it really seems you were still able to give your mother the tribute she deserves. I want to give you praise for being such a strong intelligent, powerful women because I can hardly imagine loosing my mother. From what i've heard you radiate her memory and that is an exceptional vibe you give.
The last days of your mothers life seem quite similar to that of my uncle's, loosing someone to sickness is so hard because you seemingly watch them wither, but as you say "My mother was surrounded by her children, father and mother, which made the moment of her death actually quite beautiful." when its a beautiful person being lost it gathers many amazing people at the time.
As for little Ped's story it is very interesting it really made me reflect on what life means for me and when it begins. You were very excited for no longer being the baby (hahaha) but eveerything happens for a reason, you will have to continue fufilling the title of the youngest.
This was a very intersting and emotionally thought proking post. I respect and feel your sturggle mamasita. !"
Devin
to:
"devin,
i appreciated the context in which you brought the reader. your use of quotes made your post more engaging and allowed your post to flow in a nicer way.
i also liked how you showed that normally, people in your family would be more attracted to burials, and how both of your grandmothers (on both sides) are breaking the tradition by preferring cremations.
your post bring the reader to speculate about how some people like to have a good image of the dead (you used the example of your grandmother spent lots of money to make her husband look nice. your post also makes the reader think about the different controversies in this decision making. all in all, good job.
thanks,
naima"
from:
"My first thought after reading about the deaths of your mother and of “Little Ped” was how proud your mother would be because of the feelings and values you have and how well you write about them. Your father, your brothers, and you had to be incredibly diplomatic with your grandmother, even allowing your mother to be buried in a dress you knew your mother hated. I think it was great that you found ways “to make sure that the ceremony reflected my (your) mother’s values.” I hope there was some drumming.
You also talk about the conflict between generations over the decision of your stepmother to end her pregnancy due to a fatal birth defect and the wishes of your father’s mother to
keep the baby alive and hope for a miracle. Burying Little Ped’s ashes under a tree you planted for him is about the best burial practice I can imagine. How great it would be if
we all ended our lives this way.
The only other comment I have is that your family’s experience with your mother’s death seems like an argument for people to write down what they want to have happen when they die to avoid conflicts. Your mother died much too young but for older people it
probably is a good thing to tell your family your if-I-die wishes."
Emma
"Naima,
I love this post-it was so incredibly honest. You discussed your mother's death and how your family had to deal with caring for her physical body, and then, contrasted it with the way your family dealt with Little Ped's passing. What I loved is that you showed how caring for the physical body after a death is actually a really spiritual and emotional process and can be a way in which the person's life is celebrated. I think it's beautiful that your father wanted drumming and dancing at your mother's funeral, even if it didn't actually happen. Burying your child is probably one of the most difficult things in the world to do so I understand why your father wanted to honor your grandmother's wishes. Your post about little Ped's death was also thought provoking and beautiful. It's heartbreaking that his life had to end before it even truly began, but I feel that the way your family has dealt with it, including your burial of his ashes, preserves his memory and will allow his soul to remain with your family. I think this project is really fascinating because it causes people to explore and look at death in a new and different way. What you do with a body depends on what you think happens after death, and how you think their life should be celebrated. I think it's beautiful that you're able to reflect on your own experiences through this project and hopefully, writing about it is healing and meaningful for you. As always, I loved reading!-Emma"
Joaquin
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