Harold and Maude

"Harold and Maude" follows a young man named Harold who is infatuated with the idea of pretending that he's committed suicide. The film begins with his mother coming home to find Harold hanging himself. The audience is initially shocked by her apparent disregard and neglect until we realize that this is simply a game that Harold plays on a regular basis and by now his mother is not only used to it, she's bored with it.
This is a film that uses Harold's obsession with death as part of its dark humor.

In contrast to Harold, Maude, an elderly woman, with whom he is in love, is obsessed with life. Despite her age, Maude wants to live life to the fullest. Every day is a new adventure, whether its stealing a car, playing pranks on military officials, or talking herself out of getting arrested, Maude lives her life with gusto. In fact, it seems as though she is more of a teenager, with respect to her outlook on life, than Harold. This too is a part of the film's ironic humor.

Harold's wealthy mother is in some ways the "normal one" but in fact she doesn't know what to make of either Harold or Maude. She is preoccupied with trying to get Harold to become a normal kid which she attempts to do by getting him into military school or getting him a girlfriend. None of this works, and Harold's obsession with death appears to be a reaction to his mothers desire to make him "normal."

Harold's obsession with death is in some ways a repulsion towards his mother's pressure, but through his relationship with Maude, he discovers a love of life for the first time.

Culminating Project

For this culminating project, I decided to speak with people my age to find out what they thought about death and the afterlife. I imagined that unless they had had to deal with death before, that they might be very confused about it. I was confused about what happens after a person dies until I experienced my mother’s death and was forced to really think through what I believed happened when a person died. I know that our religious beliefs have a big impact on how we think about death, and so do our fears. The idea of being gone forever is probably disturbing to many people and thus I wanted to see what some of my friends thought about it.  

(UPLOADING PROBLEMS WITH VIDEO)

For each of the people I interviewed, there seems to be a hope of an afterlife. There is no certainty expressed but each of the people I interviewed seemed to want to believe that they could either be reincarnated or that they would go to someplace good after they died. In the opening “scene,” its clear that Emma is the most troubled by the conversation. She starts out by saying that she doesn’t like the topic because its depressing and then interjects throughout the conversation. When Callie began with saying that she didn’t believe anything happened after death, Emma seemed somewhat offended, and thought of it as depressing. Even though the others were willing to talk about it, its clear that the topic of death is disturbing. It may have also been that we were at a party, and they just wanted to have fun, but I think there’s an underlying display of discomfort that comes from speaking of death.

Its interesting that almost everybody that I interviewed said that they believed in reincarnation because this notion comes from Hinduism and I don’t think that any of my friends are Hindu or that they have religious beliefs that support this idea. I think the reason why reincarnation appeals to them is because they don’t want to see death as permanent and they’re hoping, somehow, that life might continue in a different form. None of them expressed this belief with certainty that might come from religion or some other doctrine. Undoubtedly, it is their fear of the unknown that leads them to hope that there will be reincarnation.  

SOF Prom 2011

Even in a place like School of the Future, which is not a typical school in many ways, it still followed the traditions that most American schools adhere to related to the prom. There we were in our rented tux’s and gowns, all of which cost a lot of money for only one night of partying. It makes no sense when you think about it given that many of the students really don’t have the money to afford the tickets or the clothes, but the pressure to be part of the prom is strong.

This serves as another reminder of how and why certain traditions continue in our society. Even when there’s no rational justification for participating in such an expensive activity, most people find ways to do so. This is a reflection of how and why societies maintain a high degree of continuity across generations. It was funny when I talked to my father about his prom, how similar it was to mine. Even though he went to his prom over 30 years ago, all of the major ingredients- the tuxedoes, the dresses, the limousines, and the alcohol were all very similar. I wonder if this would be true for the next generations as well, or if at some point in the future, some group is going to end the tradition. 

Overall, I had a great time at prom. I wasn’t expecting to have so much fun, which was why it was great. No, it was not transformative and magical. For me, it was just another party; a dressier, more expensive one, but I’m glad that I went anyway.

Initial Thoughts on Prom

I don’t think I’ve ever thought much of prom.  I remember being younger, looking at photos of my brother and sister, and admiring how great they looked, but thinking that it was all really corny. Photos of couples- female in front of male, cheesing through each shot. When I thought of prom, I thought of the photos in my elder brother and sister’s yearbook and wallets. As I grew older, I thought less and less of it- but I guess that’s a fad/tradition as well. To hate on prom, but attend anyway. I never imagined a guy picking me up from home in a limousine, with me in 6-inch heels that I couldn’t walk in, and a dress that would never be worn again. And maybe because I never had high expectations, I don’t think I’ll be disappointed with my prom. The one aspect of prom that I was particularly nervous about was finding a date. I could have easily asked somebody outside of school- but that would require me to spend $300 dollars on prom ($150 per person) and there was no way I was doing that. Since I had been pretty absent from this senior pride that most SOF kids started feeling in the beginning of the year, and since I had been absent in almost everything, I had no idea who I could go to prom with. I also didn’t imagine anyone asking me since I hardly interacted with anyone. But I was pleased with the way I found a date. I sat outside the school with a couple other seniors, complaining that I was going to have to pay $300 bucks to take someone outside of school. Javon stood next to me and shared the complaint. There was an awkward silence, and we both made it clear that it would be all right to go with each other. Since we were huddled with other dramatic seniors, they made him ask me “the way he was supposed to,” although that had already been implied. So he asked, and I agreed. No sweat! Well, for me.   

hw 54

 Although I was not really raised a Christian, both of my parents were. When my mother died, a Catholic priest performed the funeral. For this reason, I sought to learn more about the Christian beliefs toward death and life after death. I had a vague sense that Christians believe in heaven and hell; the good go to heaven and the bad go to hell. This never made too much sense to me because it sounds more like a story made up by people to get you to be "good" while your on earth. Still, I thought it would be good to learn how someone who was an official within a Christian church approached the topic of death.

Two classmates and I interviewed Reverend Linda at the Episcopal church on 12 st and Broadway. Before entering the room, Eloise, Nina and I jotted down some questions to ask her. When we sat in the room, she gave us a really friendly vibe and made sure to remember our names. "This might be a little broad or too general, but what are your beliefs on the care of the dead?" I asked her. She turned her head and answered, "We believe that the body is sacred, and that the dead are sacred. Everybody is equally sacred in front of god. Whether your a terrorist or a president, a policeman or a thief, you deserve respect." We then asked her if she believed in an after life. "Its funny you ask- this is the season of Easter! We believe in resurrection and we believe that Jesus arose from death- not like Casper the ghost necessarily, but reappeared through shut doors from disciples. Whether those were physical or spiritual doors, i don't know. I do know that once your dead, there is a different kind of existence that's not explainable in our words. And that the same thing will happen to everyone." We took a moment to finish off our notes, then Eloise intervened, "So, do you believe in heaven?" She asked. "People spend a lot of time thinking and talking about heaven. But Jesus doesn't talk about a whole other universe. He spoke about a kingdom on earth as it is in heaven."

I then looked up and asked her what her role was like in these funerals. "I work with families who have lost someone. I lead the funerals and prepare them for the families. I choose the songs, scriptures and so on. Each funeral experience has been different. I just led a funeral for a baby this small-" She motioned with her hands and squeezed them together to show us how small. "My gift to these families is to not crumple down but to offer them words that they can hold on to."

Eloise asked her if she believed in hell. "Even though they mention the word hell, they never actually say someone will go. I think that's because history is filled with wicked people, hell functions as a place to serve for justice and you can't have a society function without justice. I think that eventually, god will take care of it." 

When we asked how she prefers to see the dead cared for, she said that they were open to anything and that cremation was okay. She did, however, say that she felt it was easier for the families to grieve when there was a body in the room.

HW 53

Cyber Space When Your Dead By Rob Walker

We've already found ways to make arrangements with our personal belongings for after we die, but what about the stuff we've left behind on the internet?  We are no longer keeping diaries or photo albums but instead we have blogger and flickr accounts. But how has this online life affected the way we mourn for those who have died? Mac Tonnies, a consistent blogger, recently died and left behind all of his online paraphernalia. He didn't have that many friends or a very actively engaged life outside the internet, but attracted many people similar to him through the internet and found ways to construct a meaning through there. They all mourned for him once he died, and may even have been more impacted by his death than the people he knew and met through regular every day life.


Dance, Laugh, Drink. Save the Date: It's a Ghanaian Funeral. By Sam Dolnick

In the United States, a traditional funeral often involves wearing black, listening to soft and sad music, having a priest, crying, so on. In Ghana, funerals have been known to celebrate the dead person's life rather than to mourn their death. Because of this idea, an average American might mistake a Ghanaian funeral for a wedding or another festive party. These funerals are a great way to meet other people, a great way to continue the social life. With the recent surge of Ghanaian immigrants in New York, these funerals have become more popularized- or at least noticed, by Americans- and we are surprised as to how they handle this death gathering. Ghanaian funerals are often very festive and sometimes competitive.

The two articles that I chose didn't have much in common with the exception of the overall theme of after death practices. One showed how using the internet to reveal a good portion of a person"s life  can allow the person to be mourned through the internet after death. It's almost like second life, except it involves a second cyber death.  The article on Ghanaian funerals showed how other traditions handle death as compared to our Western traditions. Unlike most Americans, Ghanians see death as a time to celebrate a person's life and much partying takes place.  I also watched a short clip called "Dancing with the Dead," previewing a ritual practiced in Madagascar. It shows how they unearth the dead every seven years to celebrate with them- reminding youth and elders of their ancestors and other important figures in their lives. It brings about a sense of happiness and before returning the skeletons to the earth, they rewrap them. I found this amazing because I reflected on how we renew our traditional funeral practices- by placing flowers at the grave site. It just seems kind of meaningless to me.

I decided to interview this director of the Walter B. Cooke funeral home, Mary Schmidt.
My step mom had already been in contact with her due to my little brothers death. When I called, she had little time on her hands and cut me off short. "When a person is cremated, how do we know it's their remains that come back to us?" I asked her. "We are a very professional funeral service. we only work with licenced crematoria. We are very careful to make sure that the ashes that return to us belong to the right person." I then asked her how people typically deal with the ashes from a cremation, and she responded by saying, "In most cases, the family places the ashes in an urn. In some cases, the ashes are placed in a pot either separately or with other family members. Some people chose to have the ashes buried with a tree or some other plant. The problem with this approach is that sometimes the land where the ashes is sold and the family will lose its connection to the plot." "how did you get into this business?" I asked. "This was originally a family business owned by the Cooke's. My father then purchased the business. He was the director of a small funeral business many years ago. We started the business in a small town in pennsylvania and moved to new york in the 1930's. We've been in this location ever since." The last question I asked her before we got off the phone was, "Do you find your work rewarding?" I heard a chuckle on the other end of the line, "I do! I enjoy helping families find closure after they've lost someone they loved."

"stiff" parte uma

Anatomists hired people to remove bodies from the graves in order to study human anatomy. This type of work was seen by some as immoral and dishonorable because of popular religious beliefs related to the handling of the dead. Anatomists were dedicated to their work because they understood that it was the only real way to study the human body. Today, doctors and medical students who are studying the human body deal with death by objectifying cadavers in order to avoid any emotional connection to their work. Hours after a person has died, its body begins to decompose. How a body decays depends on many different factors such as the environment, type of burial, the weather and much more. The scent of a corpse is often disturbing and overwhelming. To make the work less uncomfortable, doctors who work with cadavers use euphemisms and try to see the value and even the beauty in the work they are doing. Maggots, bacteria and beetles cover the body and you can hear them from two feet away. Embalming is used to provide the dead with some dignity by making them appear peaceful and presentable. Cadavers have been used for a variety of medical and technological purposes. For example, cadavers are extremely important to creating a safe, death-proof car. They’ve been used because they don’t feel pain and in crash tests, they want to see how the body can be damaged in a car crash. In the past, pigs were used because their organs are similar to a human’s. However, because they are not human’s, using cadavers is preferable.

"My mom was never a cadaver; no person ever is. You are a person and then you cease to be a person, and a cadaver takes your place." (12)

"For those who must deal with human corpses regularly, it is easier (and, I suppose, more accurate) to think of them as objects, not people." (21)

"There is a passage in the Buddhist Sutra on Mindfulness called the Nine Cemetery Contemplations. Apprentice monks are instructed to meditate on a series of decomposing bodies in the charnel ground, starting with a body 'swollen and blue and festering,' progressing to one 'being eaten by ... different kinds of worms,' and moving on to a skeleton, 'without flesh and blood, held together by the tendons.' The monks were told to keep meditating until they were calm and a smile appeared on their faces."(69)

"I find the dead easier to be around than the dying. They are not in pain, not afraid of death. There are no awkward silences and conversations that dance around the obvious. They aren't scary. The half hour I spent with my mother as a dead person was easier by far than the many hours I spent with her as a live person dying and in pain." (98)

"The anonymity of body parts facilitates the necessary dissociations of cadaveric research: This is not a person. This is just tissue. It has no feelings, and no one has feelings for it. It's okay to do things to it which, were it a sentient being, would constitute torture." (105)

I've had a difficult time reading "Stiff," mostly because the images that come to mind through its descriptive language have made me feel uncomfortable. Having imagined my mother in these stages of decay, I hit a wall with this book and refused to keep going. A couple of days ago, I decided that I had no choice but to finish and so I forced myself to read the book. One thing that struck me was how important it is for doctors to objectify the people that they work on (dead or alive) otherwise, they would be too emotionally engaged to carry out their work.This reminded me of the pregnancy and birth unit where healthworker's, doctors and midwives are required to perform highly complicated medical procedures without becoming too emotionally attached, otherwise, they may not be able to carry out their jobs effectively. While I understand the need for this emotional detachment, I still believe that doctors who work on cadavers must always remember that they are working with human remains and treat those remains with a sense of dignity and respect.