Although I was not really raised a Christian, both of my parents were. When my mother died, a Catholic priest performed the funeral. For this reason, I sought to learn more about the Christian beliefs toward death and life after death. I had a vague sense that Christians believe in heaven and hell; the good go to heaven and the bad go to hell. This never made too much sense to me because it sounds more like a story made up by people to get you to be "good" while your on earth. Still, I thought it would be good to learn how someone who was an official within a Christian church approached the topic of death.
Two classmates and I interviewed Reverend Linda at the Episcopal church on 12 st and Broadway. Before entering the room, Eloise, Nina and I jotted down some questions to ask her. When we sat in the room, she gave us a really friendly vibe and made sure to remember our names. "This might be a little broad or too general, but what are your beliefs on the care of the dead?" I asked her. She turned her head and answered, "We believe that the body is sacred, and that the dead are sacred. Everybody is equally sacred in front of god. Whether your a terrorist or a president, a policeman or a thief, you deserve respect." We then asked her if she believed in an after life. "Its funny you ask- this is the season of Easter! We believe in resurrection and we believe that Jesus arose from death- not like Casper the ghost necessarily, but reappeared through shut doors from disciples. Whether those were physical or spiritual doors, i don't know. I do know that once your dead, there is a different kind of existence that's not explainable in our words. And that the same thing will happen to everyone." We took a moment to finish off our notes, then Eloise intervened, "So, do you believe in heaven?" She asked. "People spend a lot of time thinking and talking about heaven. But Jesus doesn't talk about a whole other universe. He spoke about a kingdom on earth as it is in heaven."
I then looked up and asked her what her role was like in these funerals. "I work with families who have lost someone. I lead the funerals and prepare them for the families. I choose the songs, scriptures and so on. Each funeral experience has been different. I just led a funeral for a baby this small-" She motioned with her hands and squeezed them together to show us how small. "My gift to these families is to not crumple down but to offer them words that they can hold on to."
Eloise asked her if she believed in hell. "Even though they mention the word hell, they never actually say someone will go. I think that's because history is filled with wicked people, hell functions as a place to serve for justice and you can't have a society function without justice. I think that eventually, god will take care of it."
When we asked how she prefers to see the dead cared for, she said that they were open to anything and that cremation was okay. She did, however, say that she felt it was easier for the families to grieve when there was a body in the room.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
HW 53
Cyber Space When Your Dead By Rob Walker
We've already found ways to make arrangements with our personal belongings for after we die, but what about the stuff we've left behind on the internet? We are no longer keeping diaries or photo albums but instead we have blogger and flickr accounts. But how has this online life affected the way we mourn for those who have died? Mac Tonnies, a consistent blogger, recently died and left behind all of his online paraphernalia. He didn't have that many friends or a very actively engaged life outside the internet, but attracted many people similar to him through the internet and found ways to construct a meaning through there. They all mourned for him once he died, and may even have been more impacted by his death than the people he knew and met through regular every day life.
Dance, Laugh, Drink. Save the Date: It's a Ghanaian Funeral. By Sam Dolnick
In the United States, a traditional funeral often involves wearing black, listening to soft and sad music, having a priest, crying, so on. In Ghana, funerals have been known to celebrate the dead person's life rather than to mourn their death. Because of this idea, an average American might mistake a Ghanaian funeral for a wedding or another festive party. These funerals are a great way to meet other people, a great way to continue the social life. With the recent surge of Ghanaian immigrants in New York, these funerals have become more popularized- or at least noticed, by Americans- and we are surprised as to how they handle this death gathering. Ghanaian funerals are often very festive and sometimes competitive.
The two articles that I chose didn't have much in common with the exception of the overall theme of after death practices. One showed how using the internet to reveal a good portion of a person"s life can allow the person to be mourned through the internet after death. It's almost like second life, except it involves a second cyber death. The article on Ghanaian funerals showed how other traditions handle death as compared to our Western traditions. Unlike most Americans, Ghanians see death as a time to celebrate a person's life and much partying takes place. I also watched a short clip called "Dancing with the Dead," previewing a ritual practiced in Madagascar. It shows how they unearth the dead every seven years to celebrate with them- reminding youth and elders of their ancestors and other important figures in their lives. It brings about a sense of happiness and before returning the skeletons to the earth, they rewrap them. I found this amazing because I reflected on how we renew our traditional funeral practices- by placing flowers at the grave site. It just seems kind of meaningless to me.
I decided to interview this director of the Walter B. Cooke funeral home, Mary Schmidt.
My step mom had already been in contact with her due to my little brothers death. When I called, she had little time on her hands and cut me off short. "When a person is cremated, how do we know it's their remains that come back to us?" I asked her. "We are a very professional funeral service. we only work with licenced crematoria. We are very careful to make sure that the ashes that return to us belong to the right person." I then asked her how people typically deal with the ashes from a cremation, and she responded by saying, "In most cases, the family places the ashes in an urn. In some cases, the ashes are placed in a pot either separately or with other family members. Some people chose to have the ashes buried with a tree or some other plant. The problem with this approach is that sometimes the land where the ashes is sold and the family will lose its connection to the plot." "how did you get into this business?" I asked. "This was originally a family business owned by the Cooke's. My father then purchased the business. He was the director of a small funeral business many years ago. We started the business in a small town in pennsylvania and moved to new york in the 1930's. We've been in this location ever since." The last question I asked her before we got off the phone was, "Do you find your work rewarding?" I heard a chuckle on the other end of the line, "I do! I enjoy helping families find closure after they've lost someone they loved."
We've already found ways to make arrangements with our personal belongings for after we die, but what about the stuff we've left behind on the internet? We are no longer keeping diaries or photo albums but instead we have blogger and flickr accounts. But how has this online life affected the way we mourn for those who have died? Mac Tonnies, a consistent blogger, recently died and left behind all of his online paraphernalia. He didn't have that many friends or a very actively engaged life outside the internet, but attracted many people similar to him through the internet and found ways to construct a meaning through there. They all mourned for him once he died, and may even have been more impacted by his death than the people he knew and met through regular every day life.
Dance, Laugh, Drink. Save the Date: It's a Ghanaian Funeral. By Sam Dolnick
In the United States, a traditional funeral often involves wearing black, listening to soft and sad music, having a priest, crying, so on. In Ghana, funerals have been known to celebrate the dead person's life rather than to mourn their death. Because of this idea, an average American might mistake a Ghanaian funeral for a wedding or another festive party. These funerals are a great way to meet other people, a great way to continue the social life. With the recent surge of Ghanaian immigrants in New York, these funerals have become more popularized- or at least noticed, by Americans- and we are surprised as to how they handle this death gathering. Ghanaian funerals are often very festive and sometimes competitive.
The two articles that I chose didn't have much in common with the exception of the overall theme of after death practices. One showed how using the internet to reveal a good portion of a person"s life can allow the person to be mourned through the internet after death. It's almost like second life, except it involves a second cyber death. The article on Ghanaian funerals showed how other traditions handle death as compared to our Western traditions. Unlike most Americans, Ghanians see death as a time to celebrate a person's life and much partying takes place. I also watched a short clip called "Dancing with the Dead," previewing a ritual practiced in Madagascar. It shows how they unearth the dead every seven years to celebrate with them- reminding youth and elders of their ancestors and other important figures in their lives. It brings about a sense of happiness and before returning the skeletons to the earth, they rewrap them. I found this amazing because I reflected on how we renew our traditional funeral practices- by placing flowers at the grave site. It just seems kind of meaningless to me.
I decided to interview this director of the Walter B. Cooke funeral home, Mary Schmidt.
My step mom had already been in contact with her due to my little brothers death. When I called, she had little time on her hands and cut me off short. "When a person is cremated, how do we know it's their remains that come back to us?" I asked her. "We are a very professional funeral service. we only work with licenced crematoria. We are very careful to make sure that the ashes that return to us belong to the right person." I then asked her how people typically deal with the ashes from a cremation, and she responded by saying, "In most cases, the family places the ashes in an urn. In some cases, the ashes are placed in a pot either separately or with other family members. Some people chose to have the ashes buried with a tree or some other plant. The problem with this approach is that sometimes the land where the ashes is sold and the family will lose its connection to the plot." "how did you get into this business?" I asked. "This was originally a family business owned by the Cooke's. My father then purchased the business. He was the director of a small funeral business many years ago. We started the business in a small town in pennsylvania and moved to new york in the 1930's. We've been in this location ever since." The last question I asked her before we got off the phone was, "Do you find your work rewarding?" I heard a chuckle on the other end of the line, "I do! I enjoy helping families find closure after they've lost someone they loved."
Sunday, May 15, 2011
"stiff" parte uma
Anatomists hired people to remove bodies from the graves in order to study human anatomy. This type of work was seen by some as immoral and dishonorable because of popular religious beliefs related to the handling of the dead. Anatomists were dedicated to their work because they understood that it was the only real way to study the human body. Today, doctors and medical students who are studying the human body deal with death by objectifying cadavers in order to avoid any emotional connection to their work. Hours after a person has died, its body begins to decompose. How a body decays depends on many different factors such as the environment, type of burial, the weather and much more. The scent of a corpse is often disturbing and overwhelming. To make the work less uncomfortable, doctors who work with cadavers use euphemisms and try to see the value and even the beauty in the work they are doing. Maggots, bacteria and beetles cover the body and you can hear them from two feet away. Embalming is used to provide the dead with some dignity by making them appear peaceful and presentable. Cadavers have been used for a variety of medical and technological purposes. For example, cadavers are extremely important to creating a safe, death-proof car. They’ve been used because they don’t feel pain and in crash tests, they want to see how the body can be damaged in a car crash. In the past, pigs were used because their organs are similar to a human’s. However, because they are not human’s, using cadavers is preferable.
"My mom was never a cadaver; no person ever is. You are a person and then you cease to be a person, and a cadaver takes your place." (12)
"For those who must deal with human corpses regularly, it is easier (and, I suppose, more accurate) to think of them as objects, not people." (21)
"There is a passage in the Buddhist Sutra on Mindfulness called the Nine Cemetery Contemplations. Apprentice monks are instructed to meditate on a series of decomposing bodies in the charnel ground, starting with a body 'swollen and blue and festering,' progressing to one 'being eaten by ... different kinds of worms,' and moving on to a skeleton, 'without flesh and blood, held together by the tendons.' The monks were told to keep meditating until they were calm and a smile appeared on their faces."(69)
"I find the dead easier to be around than the dying. They are not in pain, not afraid of death. There are no awkward silences and conversations that dance around the obvious. They aren't scary. The half hour I spent with my mother as a dead person was easier by far than the many hours I spent with her as a live person dying and in pain." (98)
"The anonymity of body parts facilitates the necessary dissociations of cadaveric research: This is not a person. This is just tissue. It has no feelings, and no one has feelings for it. It's okay to do things to it which, were it a sentient being, would constitute torture." (105)
I've had a difficult time reading "Stiff," mostly because the images that come to mind through its descriptive language have made me feel uncomfortable. Having imagined my mother in these stages of decay, I hit a wall with this book and refused to keep going. A couple of days ago, I decided that I had no choice but to finish and so I forced myself to read the book. One thing that struck me was how important it is for doctors to objectify the people that they work on (dead or alive) otherwise, they would be too emotionally engaged to carry out their work.This reminded me of the pregnancy and birth unit where healthworker's, doctors and midwives are required to perform highly complicated medical procedures without becoming too emotionally attached, otherwise, they may not be able to carry out their jobs effectively. While I understand the need for this emotional detachment, I still believe that doctors who work on cadavers must always remember that they are working with human remains and treat those remains with a sense of dignity and respect.
Monday, May 2, 2011
peer perspectives on care of the dead
Recently, I've interviewed a few friends about their perspectives on care of the dead. I think that I could have pushed myself more to think of more questions but I figured that if I had several respondents who gave longer answers, than that could create some sort of balance.
Background on the Respondents: Emma is one of my closest friends who is a junior at the Beacon high school, and star of her basketball team (in my opinion). Angel was a close friend of mine in middle school who has reached out to me a lot recently and Izzy is a student at Brooklyn College who I've worked with on various social justice projects.
I began by asking each of my of my interviewees: "What are some images that come to mind when you think about how our bodies are dealt with after death?"
Emma looked down and responded moments later: "I either think of ashes or a persons body disintegrated. I think of the way people put make-up on the dead person to make them look alive even though their not, which to me is creepy."
In my opinion, Angel and Izzy responded similarly- i found both responses made me feel somewhat raw: "Dimmed rooms, slicing machines, maggots on our bodies, preservation" Angel listed. Izzy responded by saying, "Jars of brains, morgues, preservatives, that scene in v for vendetta where all the dead bodies are on top of one another being burried to hide the evidence. Everything either very medicalized or very primitive. Thats all."
I got the sense from their responses that maybe they haven't experienced death from a close relative because they hadn't seemed too connected with their answers. And although they might not have had close experiences with death, I could tell that both were more realistic.
I then asked them, "How would you like your body cared for after you die?"
Emma and Izzy both said they wanted to be cremated. Emma didn't take long to respond, "The idea of being in a coffin makes me feel claustrophobic. Its like being in a cage for eternity." She looked up at me and then looked out, toward the window. "I feel like my spirit wouldn't be able to travel different places." She then added that she can't imagine being buried alive and shook her head at the thought of it. Her father said that being cremated alive doesn't sound like a better option.
Izzy responded by saying, "I would like to be cremated because I don't like the idea of the cascet and tombstone taking up room in the earth."
Angel said that he would like to be buried. When I asked him why, he responded by saying: "I'd like to be buried in the earth because its comforting for me. I'd feel like I'm a part of nature, and for me it shows a respect for nature." I then asked him if he were religious and he responded by saying yes. "I'm christian. It's really affected the way I've seen it because I've lived for a purpose and I'd really like to show my respect by being buried. Its an appreciation for what my faith has given me." Angel and I ended our conversation there.
Their responses about how they wanted their bodies to be dealt with after death varied. I couldn't detect a clear pattern, at least not from the three people I spoke to. What I did notice was how confident each of them were in their answers- they knew exactly what they wanted, without questioning it.
My final question was as follows, "How do you feel about your family's perspective on care of the dead?"
Emma responded more unclear than her usual responses, "We've usually buried people because its Jewish tradition to be buried together. My mom told me that I can't be buried with my family because I have a tattoo, which is fine 'cause I don't wanna be buried." She looked over her shoulder at the tattoo of a giraffe and smiled, then continued. "We have closed-casket funerals because I don't think people in my family would be able to deal with open caskets very much." She laughed at that. "I don't really know of anybody in my family being cremated, but I can't be sure. I know that my mom wants to be cremated being she and I share this issue of being claustrophobic. And I haven't spoken with my father but I imagine he'd like to be buried with his family, maybe next to his brother. I feel like my dads more conservative in that way."
Izzy responded just as sure as she was before, "I come from a traditional Irish Catholic family where most people in my family have been buried. They did open cascets and so on. My mother is not so conservative in her views on cremation so I don't think she would oppose of me being cremated. I'm not sure how influenced i've been by my family's views but maybe in a reverse psychology sort of way."
Background on the Respondents: Emma is one of my closest friends who is a junior at the Beacon high school, and star of her basketball team (in my opinion). Angel was a close friend of mine in middle school who has reached out to me a lot recently and Izzy is a student at Brooklyn College who I've worked with on various social justice projects.
I began by asking each of my of my interviewees: "What are some images that come to mind when you think about how our bodies are dealt with after death?"
Emma looked down and responded moments later: "I either think of ashes or a persons body disintegrated. I think of the way people put make-up on the dead person to make them look alive even though their not, which to me is creepy."
In my opinion, Angel and Izzy responded similarly- i found both responses made me feel somewhat raw: "Dimmed rooms, slicing machines, maggots on our bodies, preservation" Angel listed. Izzy responded by saying, "Jars of brains, morgues, preservatives, that scene in v for vendetta where all the dead bodies are on top of one another being burried to hide the evidence. Everything either very medicalized or very primitive. Thats all."
I got the sense from their responses that maybe they haven't experienced death from a close relative because they hadn't seemed too connected with their answers. And although they might not have had close experiences with death, I could tell that both were more realistic.
I then asked them, "How would you like your body cared for after you die?"
Emma and Izzy both said they wanted to be cremated. Emma didn't take long to respond, "The idea of being in a coffin makes me feel claustrophobic. Its like being in a cage for eternity." She looked up at me and then looked out, toward the window. "I feel like my spirit wouldn't be able to travel different places." She then added that she can't imagine being buried alive and shook her head at the thought of it. Her father said that being cremated alive doesn't sound like a better option.
Izzy responded by saying, "I would like to be cremated because I don't like the idea of the cascet and tombstone taking up room in the earth."
Angel said that he would like to be buried. When I asked him why, he responded by saying: "I'd like to be buried in the earth because its comforting for me. I'd feel like I'm a part of nature, and for me it shows a respect for nature." I then asked him if he were religious and he responded by saying yes. "I'm christian. It's really affected the way I've seen it because I've lived for a purpose and I'd really like to show my respect by being buried. Its an appreciation for what my faith has given me." Angel and I ended our conversation there.
Their responses about how they wanted their bodies to be dealt with after death varied. I couldn't detect a clear pattern, at least not from the three people I spoke to. What I did notice was how confident each of them were in their answers- they knew exactly what they wanted, without questioning it.
My final question was as follows, "How do you feel about your family's perspective on care of the dead?"
Emma responded more unclear than her usual responses, "We've usually buried people because its Jewish tradition to be buried together. My mom told me that I can't be buried with my family because I have a tattoo, which is fine 'cause I don't wanna be buried." She looked over her shoulder at the tattoo of a giraffe and smiled, then continued. "We have closed-casket funerals because I don't think people in my family would be able to deal with open caskets very much." She laughed at that. "I don't really know of anybody in my family being cremated, but I can't be sure. I know that my mom wants to be cremated being she and I share this issue of being claustrophobic. And I haven't spoken with my father but I imagine he'd like to be buried with his family, maybe next to his brother. I feel like my dads more conservative in that way."
Izzy responded just as sure as she was before, "I come from a traditional Irish Catholic family where most people in my family have been buried. They did open cascets and so on. My mother is not so conservative in her views on cremation so I don't think she would oppose of me being cremated. I'm not sure how influenced i've been by my family's views but maybe in a reverse psychology sort of way."
It seemed that both Emma and Izzy thought about their family's religious backgrounds when answering this question. This was interesting because neither of them were very religious. I've heard from others that people often get religious as they approach death. I guess its like having an insurance policy. They probably think its good to be on God's side when facing the unknown.
Comments on BOB (best of break)
Eloise
i really enjoyed your post. i liked the language that you used to describe peoples reactions to your questions, and i liked the way you peeped-in their quotes. i liked the larger ideas that came across throughout your writing, which, mainly, were that death means different things to different people and they chose how they'd like to think about it. we live in a society where we have options and where the controversy on picking a form of care for a dead body doesn't seem too controversial.
although i really enjoyed your post, i still find that your posts are very choppy. i think that to make your posts have more of a flow, you should read it through aloud and seperate the larger chunks into paragraphs.
thanks girlly,
nai"
You spoke of how your mother's passing and how it effected your family and your father and how difficult it was to deal with the care of her body & memory. You also spoke of little Ped's recent passing and how much you give respect to his life , but in contrast how easy going the decision making for his memorial went.
I think your fathers actions to accept your grandmothers decisions show a strong man who really thinks of everyones sake, and it really seems you were still able to give your mother the tribute she deserves. I want to give you praise for being such a strong intelligent, powerful women because I can hardly imagine loosing my mother. From what i've heard you radiate her memory and that is an exceptional vibe you give.
The last days of your mothers life seem quite similar to that of my uncle's, loosing someone to sickness is so hard because you seemingly watch them wither, but as you say "My mother was surrounded by her children, father and mother, which made the moment of her death actually quite beautiful." when its a beautiful person being lost it gathers many amazing people at the time.
As for little Ped's story it is very interesting it really made me reflect on what life means for me and when it begins. You were very excited for no longer being the baby (hahaha) but eveerything happens for a reason, you will have to continue fufilling the title of the youngest.
This was a very intersting and emotionally thought proking post. I respect and feel your sturggle mamasita. !"
i appreciated the context in which you brought the reader. your use of quotes made your post more engaging and allowed your post to flow in a nicer way.
i also liked how you showed that normally, people in your family would be more attracted to burials, and how both of your grandmothers (on both sides) are breaking the tradition by preferring cremations.
your post bring the reader to speculate about how some people like to have a good image of the dead (you used the example of your grandmother spent lots of money to make her husband look nice. your post also makes the reader think about the different controversies in this decision making. all in all, good job.
thanks,
naima"
You also talk about the conflict between generations over the decision of your stepmother to end her pregnancy due to a fatal birth defect and the wishes of your father’s mother to
keep the baby alive and hope for a miracle. Burying Little Ped’s ashes under a tree you planted for him is about the best burial practice I can imagine. How great it would be if
we all ended our lives this way.
The only other comment I have is that your family’s experience with your mother’s death seems like an argument for people to write down what they want to have happen when they die to avoid conflicts. Your mother died much too young but for older people it
probably is a good thing to tell your family your if-I-die wishes."
-Emma"
to:
"hey eloise,
i really enjoyed your post. i liked the language that you used to describe peoples reactions to your questions, and i liked the way you peeped-in their quotes. i liked the larger ideas that came across throughout your writing, which, mainly, were that death means different things to different people and they chose how they'd like to think about it. we live in a society where we have options and where the controversy on picking a form of care for a dead body doesn't seem too controversial.
although i really enjoyed your post, i still find that your posts are very choppy. i think that to make your posts have more of a flow, you should read it through aloud and seperate the larger chunks into paragraphs.
thanks girlly,
nai"
from:
"Wow! you poured your heart out ad what seems to stay bottled up, I can feel all the emotion, I am sure this took courage on your part. This was a very emotional and insisghtful post into Naima and though I feel much sorrow it made me very happy to hear these thoughts of yours.
You spoke of how your mother's passing and how it effected your family and your father and how difficult it was to deal with the care of her body & memory. You also spoke of little Ped's recent passing and how much you give respect to his life , but in contrast how easy going the decision making for his memorial went.
I think your fathers actions to accept your grandmothers decisions show a strong man who really thinks of everyones sake, and it really seems you were still able to give your mother the tribute she deserves. I want to give you praise for being such a strong intelligent, powerful women because I can hardly imagine loosing my mother. From what i've heard you radiate her memory and that is an exceptional vibe you give.
The last days of your mothers life seem quite similar to that of my uncle's, loosing someone to sickness is so hard because you seemingly watch them wither, but as you say "My mother was surrounded by her children, father and mother, which made the moment of her death actually quite beautiful." when its a beautiful person being lost it gathers many amazing people at the time.
As for little Ped's story it is very interesting it really made me reflect on what life means for me and when it begins. You were very excited for no longer being the baby (hahaha) but eveerything happens for a reason, you will have to continue fufilling the title of the youngest.
This was a very intersting and emotionally thought proking post. I respect and feel your sturggle mamasita. !"
Devin
to:
"devin,
i appreciated the context in which you brought the reader. your use of quotes made your post more engaging and allowed your post to flow in a nicer way.
i also liked how you showed that normally, people in your family would be more attracted to burials, and how both of your grandmothers (on both sides) are breaking the tradition by preferring cremations.
your post bring the reader to speculate about how some people like to have a good image of the dead (you used the example of your grandmother spent lots of money to make her husband look nice. your post also makes the reader think about the different controversies in this decision making. all in all, good job.
thanks,
naima"
from:
"My first thought after reading about the deaths of your mother and of “Little Ped” was how proud your mother would be because of the feelings and values you have and how well you write about them. Your father, your brothers, and you had to be incredibly diplomatic with your grandmother, even allowing your mother to be buried in a dress you knew your mother hated. I think it was great that you found ways “to make sure that the ceremony reflected my (your) mother’s values.” I hope there was some drumming.
You also talk about the conflict between generations over the decision of your stepmother to end her pregnancy due to a fatal birth defect and the wishes of your father’s mother to
keep the baby alive and hope for a miracle. Burying Little Ped’s ashes under a tree you planted for him is about the best burial practice I can imagine. How great it would be if
we all ended our lives this way.
The only other comment I have is that your family’s experience with your mother’s death seems like an argument for people to write down what they want to have happen when they die to avoid conflicts. Your mother died much too young but for older people it
probably is a good thing to tell your family your if-I-die wishes."
Emma
"Naima,
I love this post-it was so incredibly honest. You discussed your mother's death and how your family had to deal with caring for her physical body, and then, contrasted it with the way your family dealt with Little Ped's passing. What I loved is that you showed how caring for the physical body after a death is actually a really spiritual and emotional process and can be a way in which the person's life is celebrated. I think it's beautiful that your father wanted drumming and dancing at your mother's funeral, even if it didn't actually happen. Burying your child is probably one of the most difficult things in the world to do so I understand why your father wanted to honor your grandmother's wishes. Your post about little Ped's death was also thought provoking and beautiful. It's heartbreaking that his life had to end before it even truly began, but I feel that the way your family has dealt with it, including your burial of his ashes, preserves his memory and will allow his soul to remain with your family. I think this project is really fascinating because it causes people to explore and look at death in a new and different way. What you do with a body depends on what you think happens after death, and how you think their life should be celebrated. I think it's beautiful that you're able to reflect on your own experiences through this project and hopefully, writing about it is healing and meaningful for you. As always, I loved reading!-Emma"
Joaquin
Sunday, May 1, 2011
initial thoughts on care of the dead
Contemplating my death is actually a strange topic for me. It makes me feel sad and seems a bit morbid because I don't like the idea of not being around even though, like everyone else, I know that I too will one day die. I realize from talking to many of my friends, the idea of being cremated seems attractive. I think this may be because a lot of my friends like the idea of their bodies being spread around the earth like compost, but I'm just speculating and I'm not really sure.
I've always felt open to the different ways in which my body might be cared for after I die. Knowing that my mother was buried opens that possibility up to me, but, just like my peers, being cremated seems, for some reason, attractive to me. I'm also open to the idea of donating my organs to somebody after I die. I'm hoping that by the end of this unit, I'll have a more concrete idea on what I think I'd like to have happen to my body upon my death, but these ideas are still new to me.
I think that the most important thing for me is that the ceremony of my death should be a celebration where there's music and dancing, food and merriment. I want people to enjoy themselves and hopefully have good thoughts on me and my life rather than it to be a sad and somber occasion. And, most of all, I don't want anyone wearing black.
I've always felt open to the different ways in which my body might be cared for after I die. Knowing that my mother was buried opens that possibility up to me, but, just like my peers, being cremated seems, for some reason, attractive to me. I'm also open to the idea of donating my organs to somebody after I die. I'm hoping that by the end of this unit, I'll have a more concrete idea on what I think I'd like to have happen to my body upon my death, but these ideas are still new to me.
I think that the most important thing for me is that the ceremony of my death should be a celebration where there's music and dancing, food and merriment. I want people to enjoy themselves and hopefully have good thoughts on me and my life rather than it to be a sad and somber occasion. And, most of all, I don't want anyone wearing black.
preguntas:
how have people who don't belong to one religion deal with death?
what responsibility do those who have lost a loved one bear for protecting the legacy and memory of the deceased?
how does religion play into how we care for the deceased?
Is organ donation okay if your body is used for something like plastic surgery as opposed to giving someone a chance at life?
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