As a daily routine, Tiana and I used to sit at my desk for hours- talking and listening to music. She and I were really close friends and I wasn't afraid to tell her anything. "T, I just found the NASTIEST pictures I've ever seen!" She looked up with a delighted face that said 'show me'. I ran up to my room and brought back a small package of developed film photos. She took them from my hand and as soon as she opened them, "EWWW! Is that your mom?" she asked. I looked over to the photo that sat in her hand. My mom squatted on a bed with a baby's head half- way out of her uterus. "YES! Isn't it gross?" Tiana flipped through the rest of the photos, half smiling, half disgusted. She leaned back in her chair. "The baby looks like an alien. Why would your mom have these photos taken of her?" I thought about it, traced my eyes over the photo and then shivered, "I guess she just really wanted to remember it."
Now I wonder what we found so disgusting about the photos. Was it the blood? Was it that the baby looked blue and did indeed look like an alien? Or was it that we were dumbfounded by the thought of someone taking photos of an experience so intimate? Whatever it was, I don't feel the same way anymore. I now have a new found respect for women who have given labor to the point where I'm interested in being present at one myself.
A couple of weeks ago, Allyson, my stepmother, and I were having a conversation and I changed the topic, "Do you think I can be present at your birth?" She responded by telling me that she would feel comfortable with me being there. I felt ecstatic! But as I thought about it more, I felt kind of silly asking her. "What will I even do? Just watch?" I asked myself. But as I thought about it more, I realized that doulas, people who assist women during labor have limited training and I thought that it would be great if I could take some of the training.
I started to do some investigations into what it takes to be a doula. Here's what I learned: To become a certified doula, in addition to 16 hours of workshops, I have to purchase a certification packet and read five books on specific doula training (http://www.dona.org/develop/birth_cert.php). The class that I will be taking is on the first weekend in June and the training course costs $450. I was initially suspicious that this might just be away to make money from people but after looking closely at what was offered in the courses, I thought that it would be valuable. Below is a description of the training that I will be taking:
DAY ONE: Introduction to childbirth for new doula’s course - Day one fills the requirement for DONA International's Observation of a Childbirth Preparation series. Topics to be covered: Basic anatomy & physiology of pregnancy, stages and phases of labor, medications options, discomforts of pregnancy, and all general topics covered within a childbirth education class.
DAY TWO: Introduction to Labor Support - Level I
Presents the dynamics of labor and birth, how to be a skilled companion during childbirth, and how to soothe and comfort a laboring woman. Topics to be covered: Introduction to labor support, Prenatal contact between Doula and client, Emotional support, comfort measures, business aspects of a Doula practice.
DAY THREE: Basic Doula Training - Level 2
Covers in-depth labor support strategies, the role of the Doula within the medical framework, guidelines for pre and postnatal contact with clients, how to deal with problem labors and unexpected outcomes, how to contribute to breastfeeding success, and specific tips for setting up practice as a Doula. Topics to be covered: Cesarean Section, VBAC, Postpartum contact between Doula and client, difficult labors, The newborn and breastfeeding.
In addition to taking the course, I thought it would be beneficial to interview a health worker who has assisted in child births before. I gave my aunt Ramona a call. She is a nurse practitioner and was pleased to hear from me but even more pleased to speak about her work. She readily opened up: "The first time I experienced child birth was in Kenya in a mud hut. I was assisting midwives and most of the babies were born at home. I was really just in awe, and my part was more like a doula. I got to cut the umbilical cord with a razor blade!" My mind raced as she told me these stories. I began having images of what it must have been like for her. She went on to tell me that she studied under a man who was responsible for delivering babies on the island of Lamu. He was a traditional healer who had a lot of power and respect in the village. It was considered a real honor for her to have a chance to learn under such an individual.
I continued the conversation, "Could you tell me a little history of your role as a birthing assistant? What do you do now? Are you happy doing it?" She took a moment, "Naima, of course I'm happy doing it! I guess it started when I was ten years old. I had this dog named Bingly and whenever she got pregnant, I would help her out during the delivery. I was like her midwife. And she really liked it." I laughed at that. "I'm serious! she appreciated it. After one pup came out, I'd pet her as we prepared for the next."
"Then I got really interested in midwifery. In Kenya I helped assist but I had more of a doula role. And now I'm a family nurse practitioner. And I like it, you know, dealing with people from the time of conception to the time of death. I prefer this because I can still deliver babies. I work with midwives, but I'm not exclusively a midwife. I get to do a little bit of everything, I've got no boundaries. I just have to find the right fit and not let people exploit me." I asked her if she worked in the hospital. "I work in a clinic, not a hospital. I disagree with too many things that doctors do. They do things based on their own interests and there are way too many unnecessary procedures. They treat everything, even birth, like its a sickness or a disease. And they feel threatened by nurse practitioners. I don't see why. We do everything they do and get paid half the amount they do. "
"Then I got really interested in midwifery. In Kenya I helped assist but I had more of a doula role. And now I'm a family nurse practitioner. And I like it, you know, dealing with people from the time of conception to the time of death. I prefer this because I can still deliver babies. I work with midwives, but I'm not exclusively a midwife. I get to do a little bit of everything, I've got no boundaries. I just have to find the right fit and not let people exploit me." I asked her if she worked in the hospital. "I work in a clinic, not a hospital. I disagree with too many things that doctors do. They do things based on their own interests and there are way too many unnecessary procedures. They treat everything, even birth, like its a sickness or a disease. And they feel threatened by nurse practitioners. I don't see why. We do everything they do and get paid half the amount they do. "
After hearing her talk about the passion she had for her work, I wanted to get a sense for the types of qualities I would need to have in order to be a good doula. "What personal qualities contribute to being a good doula" I asked. "...Empathy. Compassion. Patience. Touch! Massaging, are you good at those? Knowledge of midwifery." She paused. "You should have a good understanding of what pregnancy is all about. Understand each of the trimesters and read as much as you can on midwifery." Right before our conversation finished, she added "And spend as much time as you can with allyson! Notice the changes that take place in her breasts and belly. Keep your hand on her belly frequently so that the baby can get to know you. And sing to him."
My conversation with my aunt left me even more intent on learning about childbirth and becoming directly involved. She's always been a great story teller and the way she spoke with her passion and dramatic inflections reminded me of how special it is to see a child come into the world. I'm looking forward to the time when I'll have the chance to be present at a childbirth and assisting in the process.
Naima,
ReplyDeleteI love the way you reflect on your experience with your friend Tiana. It highlights the transformation you've gone through regarding your perspective on birth, but also shows the common beliefs regarding birth- that it's disgusting. The way you describe your conversation with your aunt is also really wonderful and vivid. She brings up a lot of interesting ideas that challenge the notion of conventional birthing practices, and I was particularly interested in what she said about doctors not respecting nurse practitioners. Overall, this post has gotten me to think about birth in a more holistic way- this post illustrates the ways in which birth is a journey, rather than an isolated event in a woman's life that she bears no connection to. It also makes me question the western medical world as a whole, and how its birthing methods reflect its lack of emphasis on true healing that involves a deep connection between the body, mind, and spirit.
Naima, your narrative discribing the doula training class you are going to take, your first memories of birth, and the deep discussion with your aunt about working with child delivery and the medical system was written with great beauty. It tied in the previous unit as well (I belive without intention) Which i belive is very powerful.
ReplyDeleteI realllllly liked the actions your taking, becoming a good friend of yours I can really see you as being a very helpful person in pregnancy. I think that you taking these courses is very interesting and EXPERIENTAL TO THE MAX ! I can't wait to hear how they go! I also really liked the opening story of your post it flowed like a river.
Your project matters to me because as a friend I value the relationship you have with your family and I feel these actions you are taking are going to have a major positive influence on your step mother and especially the little babe to come ! (hopefully) What story it will be to tell that you saw your sibling being born.
Naima!
ReplyDeleteThe courses you described sounded amazing. I liked that your focus was on becoming a doula/being a part of birth because it relates to things we talked about in class, but hearing what your aunt had to say was a new point of view. I actually considered going through doula training for my project as well, but I didn't know how well it would turn out without the actual training (since the next available session was in May).
Your project though, came out really well and I think that the interview/your personal connection (step-mother) really added extra emotion into the project which I feel is a hard thing to do when such a stiff word (in my opinion) like "project" is being used.
I hope to hear more about your training and your perspective on your step-mother's birth experience
Naima,
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! Your motivation to be involved in your stepmom's pregancy and the overall experience of birth is commendable, and the fact that your formed a strategy to do so looks effective. I think your experiences in doula training will provide life-long skills. After having seen several births, a doula in action, and what it takes to support birthing/pregnant women, I think that you have the potential to be a great doula!
Your project is important to me because I might like to take that class as well. I'm so excited for you to learn more about this process and eventually be a part of a birth.
I found it especially interesting that your aunt sings to the baby and familiarizes herself with him/her by touching the stomach...I wonder how she learned to do this.
Interesting work!
The part that jumps out to me is the paragraph where you introduce Auntie Ramona, and the character that she is. You captured her quirkiness and passion well. And knowing her, I know she WOULD say something like Bingly liked the attention she gave her.
ReplyDeleteI also appreciate how your passion for this subject comes through consistently in your piece. Although the recent turn in events has shifted things as we knew them, I encourage you to continue to explore this interest of yours. I think you would make a great doula or midwife.
Remember to always reread your work bebe. Proper nouns must be capitalized. Allyson's name for example :) But, I must say, your writing has clearly improved over time. I'm very proud of you my little munchkin sister.
Love you,
Joaquin