people's perspectives

Over the past few days, I have spoken with friends about their perspectives on birth. Originally, I interviewed four people- three females and one male, but, unfortunately, the male’s interview lacked enthusiasm and interest, and thus I decided not to use it. After the interview, I realized that the questions I had prepared were somewhat biased so I learned that for future interviews, I must prepare questions of all sorts, for a diverse group of people.

I was only able to interview one person face-to-face, while the others were done over the phone and Internet. This may have also contributed to the lack of interest that the one male had. "What have your parents communicated to you about your birth?" I asked as an introduction question. Each interviewee responded with solely their weight, hospital and time of birth, which initially bored me, but I later reconsidered. 

I then asked my interviewees if they have any desire to have a child in the future. "Although I'm interested in adopting a child (or children) I want to have a child of my own because I feel like the connection built over the nine months of the baby growing inside of you is strong. Women also posses beautiful powers, so why not use them?" Kai told me. I laughed at that and she added that "something growing inside of you" is a weird phrase, and she said that it made her think of aliens, or a different species. I asked her if she thinks of babies as different species, and she said yes, which was odd considering there was a baby laying next to us (her nephew) as we spoke. 

Belinda's response came from a different perspective: "I want to have kids because I feel like it’s a struggle that I have to face that will make me stronger. Every woman in my family has been an independent mother, and I feel like I will too. Its not what I want, its just a pattern I've noticed." I asked her if she thought that being an independent mother contributes to the strength of the woman and she said yes. Jennifer, on the other hand wrote "NO" in capital letters when I asked if she was interested in having a child. She viewed having children as burdens, and thought it would only contribute to her financial stresses. She also said that she couldn't see herself being responsible for a human life. When I asked her if she saw any positive aspects about birth, she said that the concept of being a parent and molding a person was beautiful, but that it wasn't "for her".  I admired her honesty.

When I asked Kai and Belinda if they ever thought about what kinds of births they would want to have, they both responded by saying that they would want a natural birth. Kai said that she would want a water birth, and Belinda told me that she didn't know enough about alternatives to form an opinion.

My final question was a question I heard posed in the classroom that I was intrigued by. "Which is seen as a greater moment for you? Birth or death?" Although I'm not too sure this question is phrased correctly, because I don't know if "greater" is the proper word for what I am trying to get across, each of my interviewees responded with more depth than to any of the other questions I asked. Belinda thought that death was greater on a short-term level, but that birth was greater on a long-term level. When I asked her why, she responded by saying that death's permanence strikes hard, but that so much greatness comes from one life. 

Jennifer said that she didn't care all too much about birth, and that she was bored with babies. She also said that she's experienced many births in her family, and only one death in her family, which has impacted her deeply. I felt that Kai's response was the most intriguing. She thought about the question for a while and when she finally spoke, she said, "That’s a really weird question" and asked me to repeat it. "I'm not really sure because my last encounter with death was also my last encounter with birth" I asked her to explain: "My aunt, who had Alzheimer’s and needed constant care, had been taken care of only by me and she died at 2:00pm. Later that night, my brother's girlfriend went into labor and the baby was born." She believed that both equally impacted her and that the mixed emotions on that day brought difficulty. She wanted to be happy for the new life, but also struggled with the death. "I lost one, but gained one as well." She turned over and slapped the baby’s butt while he slept, and he started to cry. "That’s my cue to leave,” I told her.  

Through the conversations that I had with my friends, I learned about their beliefs and perspectives surrounding birth, which contributed to my understanding of my generation’s attitudes towards this life experience. Although each interviewee was born in the same type of environment (a hospital), each had different opinions about birth. Kai wants to have a baby and is looking forward to the experience of pregnancy, birth and motherhood, whereas Jennifer has no desire to have a child. Belinda did express the desire to have a child but envisions herself most likely being a single parent. Interestingly enough, Belinda uses the term “independent parent” rather than “single” which might be an indication of our generation’s more empowered sense of the possibilities of single parenthood. While the girls showed an awareness of the varied possibilities of parenthood, they didn’t seem to have the same knowledge of the various possible birth options. Belinda had a vague sense of what a natural childbirth really entailed while Kai only learned about “water births” through conversations with me. These perspectives from my peers helped me construct a better sense of where my generation stands in their knowledge about birth. I hope to share what I’ve learned, as we continue through this unit, to further the empowerment of my generation.