Comments (2)

My partners hadn't done the assignment, but...


Younger person (Cai Oglesby):
"This was incredibly emotional and beautifully described. I love the idea of isolation making such a big difference in the process of death. I'd never thought of it like that before, but it makes so much sense.


However, couldn't this idea also be reversed? Not to be morbid, but why does being surrounded by happiness make it easier? Shouldn't that make it harder, since you know you're going to have to leave all your loves behind? Whereas if you're unhappy in your last years, you can be looking forward to an end to that pain instead. I'm not sure which I agree with but that's just something to think about."


Older person (Joaquin Noguera):
"Oooh, I like what Cai wrote.

This might be my favorite of your writings so far. The descriptive language used to provide the reader with what you experienced when you saw Tio Ricardo is very well put together. You describe his face, how clothe looked on his body, your feelings... and you involve the senses which really allows the reader to feel present.

The two paragraphs that follow are also well done. You provide the reader with a vivid description of the exchange that took place on the couch. Knowing Tio Ricardo and Grandma, I felt like it was a scenario I had seen before many times.

You have an ability to make your words into something more Naima. Not everyone knows how to use words to make people FEEL. Good job with this one bebe.

Cool feedback: I think that many would benefit from a translation of EACH statement you present that is in Spanish. I may be wrong but I remember only 1 of your statements in Spanish being translated.

Love you,

Joaquin"